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Ten Commandments of Owning a Pet

1. My life is likely to last ten to fifteen years. Any separation from you will be painful for me. Remember that before you acquire me.

2. Give me time to understand what you want from me.

3. Place your trust in me. Remember that before you acquire me.

4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, and your entertainment. I ONLY HAVE YOU.

5. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice when it is speaking to me. Be aware that however you treat me I will never forget.

6. Remember before you hit me that I have teeth that can easily crush the bones in your hand, but I choose not to bite you.

7. Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinate, or lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I don't understand what you ask of me or perhaps I am not feeling well, not getting the right food, been out in the sun too long, or my heart is getting old and weak.

8. Take care of me when I get old, you too will grow old.

9. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say " I can't bear to watch," or "let it happen in my absence." EVERYTHING is easier if you are there.

10. REMEMBER, I LOVE YOU !!



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Cat Commandments
 

Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.

Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

Thou shall not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are transparent.

Thou shall not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.

Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.

Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.

Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

Thou shall not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.

Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 a.m.

Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

Thou shall not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slowly.

Thou shall not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

Thou shall remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.

Thou shall show remorse when being scolded.